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Fact Page : 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
When Superman squeezes a lump of coal, he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you’re Chuck Norris
You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.